Kids Say The Darnedest Things: 2nd Grade Fortune Cookies

I used to teach at an elementary school. This job, at times, made me feel like Bill Cosby. Kids really could say the darnedest things. I witnessed it on numerous occasions, but none more vividly than when I proposed an art project.

The art project was to write out fortunes and then put them in fortune cookies. It was a success on all fronts. The kids got to eat sugar wafers. They learned to write pithy things and got to focus on spelling. Then, we presented some of the fortunes to the entire class, to much fanfare. Here are some of the fortunes that really got me laughin’ and thinkin’.

Fortunes by 2nd graders. Delphic in their detail.

I’ve transcribed the fortunes for you, in case they were illegible:

1.) “If you find a jar then it mite be a jippy [genie?] in it and you can make a wich.”
2.) “If you pick a chair you a strog.”
3.) “You will go back in time.”
4.) “You will fly in the clods.”
5.) “If you have a $100 bill then you will get $1,000 bill. 09810”
6.) “You are always pretty like your mom.” This one got a big roar from the class: the tiny tyke who read it was a boy.
7.) “You will make  mony if you get a job.” Wise beyond their years.

Part of my class, on the last day of school. They look so happy because I let them do math all day!

What is the best fortune you’ve ever gotten?

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2 responses to “Kids Say The Darnedest Things: 2nd Grade Fortune Cookies

    • Isn’t it great? A lot of people say that kids that age don’t know what they’re doing. Bollocks. They know plenty. It just comes from a magical place.

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